Where've you been?
by the-brat-princess
Summary: Kurt's bulling escalates, Dalton's tutition is much too steep. Even with Blaine there as a friend he's not enough to stop Kurt's downward spiral from confident teen to depressed enough to take his own life. *TRIGGER WARNING* Mental Hospital*
1. Dark Winter

**This is a bit of a teaser for a story I am writing ;)**

**A/N: Soooo this is my first story. I have the next two chapters written, but I am hoping to see if anyone likes the idea before I put more into it. I know this chapter is really short, the next one will be much longer if I get some positive feedback! Follow me on twitter : twitter . com /#!/ bandgeekNM (remove the spaces) Follow me on tumblr: broken-trees-and-fallen-leaves . tumblr . com**

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><p>"Where've you been?" He heard from the voice he knew so well, the one he would never have.<p>

"Lost, I just... Something has changed. I just. Well, I just don't think I can do it anymore..." The brunette's voice was so weak and dry, his eyes dull and lifeless, he was barely there.

All at once the world started dimming, darkness was closing in and, oddly, the beautiful boy wasn't afraid. This was what he wanted. The last thing he heard was the bottle of pills rattling to the ground and words being whispered into his ear.

"Please no Kurt, oh god no. Please hold on. I love you so much. Don't die Kurt, I need you."

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><p><strong>Thanks for the read! Read and review please!<strong>


	2. Awakening

**A/N: Here is Chapter two! (: I am beta less so excuse any errors I may have. Oddly enough I wrote half of this in my journal then changed it all once I went to type it up xD Epic fail on my part. Follow me on twitter : twitter . com /#!/ bandgeekNM (remove the spaces) Follow me on tumblr: broken-trees-and-fallen-leaves . tumblr . com **

**Please read and enjoy!**

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><p>Crying? Why do I hear crying? Where am I? Who's that talking? These thoughts flit through Kurt's mind as he opens his eyes. The room is so very white, and quiet except for a tall, dark haired, female doctor talking to his dad, Burt, who was crying.<p>

"Dad?" it comes out so frail and broken from the once proud boy. Burt turns and walks to his son and takes his hand.

"Oh, Kurt." Burt spills tears for his broken son. The doctor takes a few moments before speaking up.

"Hello and good afternoon Mr. Hummel, I am going to be your doctor at Plateau Mental Hospital." The doctor's words are met with blank stares from both of the Hummel men.

"What do you mean by mental hospital?" Burt looks very caustic while Kurt avoids his eyes.

"Well in this situation it is necessary for Kurt to go to a mental hospital to help with his problems. Plateau is a wonderful place and I promise he will be well taken care of." The doctor's eyes were warm and welcoming; maybe it wouldn't be so bad.

"When will I be leaving?" Kurt moves to sit up, feeling an ache in his stomach.

"You expelled the drugs in your system while you've been here the past 3 days; they say you can leave now as long as you are under my supervision. Once we leave you will need to go to your house to put together your stuff for your stay at Plateau, from there I will escort you to Plateau Mental Hospital." Burt passes his son a pair of clean clothes, sweats, a t-shirt and one of Finn's hoodies, Kurt so gone he barely realizes the horrid clothes.

"I guess I will go change then." Kurt shuffles out of the hospital bed he was in and went to change in the restroom. With the click he exhales. 3 days. He has been here 3 whole days. Here comes his least favourite thing to do, undressing. Pulling off the gown he sees the reasons why. Scars and bruises litter his abdomen, back, arms and legs; many from his bullies, others self-inflicted. He dresses as quickly as possible before running his hand through his hair into some semblance of fixed. With a deep breath he leaves the restroom.

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><p><strong>Please review! (:<strong>


	3. Packing your bags

**Sorry for the long time no update! After a night of The Princess Bride, When Harry Met Sally, and Klaine! I can finally sit done and type out my ideas. If you have any ideas or thoughts on this story feel free to leave a review or message me! Song ideas welcomed!**

**Also, when we get to the actual mental hospital I will be basing a good bit of it off of personal experience. I am going to try to stay as close to what a truthful stay would be like. **

**Enjoy (:**

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><p>"Good to see you're ready Kurt, your father was just signing the release forms. I forgot to mention to you that my name is Dr. Maria West, you may address me as Dr. West." The doctor seemed almost too happy. Maybe it wasn't too late for him to have second thoughts about this whole mental hospital thing being okay. Kurt put on his shoes that were placed on his bed while he was gone and awaited the 2 adults.<p>

"Okay son, looks like we are ready to go home and get your stuff together. Dr. West gave me a list of items you will need and a list of items you can't have. Your iPhone is one of those things you can't have, so I can't give it to you till you get back home from Plateau. I'll give you the list once we get to the truck so you can start planning what you want to take with you." Burt put his arm around Kurt's shoulders and led him out of the hospital room and into the maze of halls and doorways that is a hospital. He didn't say anymore to his son, just keeping a secure grasp on his shoulder was comfort enough for them both. They got to the truck before long and both got in on their respectful sides.

"Dr. West said that she would be following us to the house and from there that it would be best if she took you. I just want you to know that I love you Kurt, so much." Burt handed the list to Kurt before placing the truck in drive and heading toward home. Kurt's list read as so.

**Needed Items:**

_5 days' worth of clothing._

_(5 pants, 5 shirts, 5 pairs of underwear, 5 pairs of socks, etc.)_

_Warm Jacket_

_Appropriate shoes_

_(Preferably without laces)_

_Public appropriate pyjamas_

_A toothbrush and paste_

_Shampoo_

_Shower shoes _

_A hair brush or comb_

**Optional Items:**

_A comfort item_

_(A special blanket or stuffed animal)_

_Journal_

_(Not spiral bound)_

_Personal reading books_

**Prohibited Items:**

_Cell Phones or any other Electronics_

_Jewelry_

_Money or other Valuables _

_Musical Instruments_

_Sharpie Markers_

_Cigarettes_

_**Any items deemed inappropriate will be held until the time of release.**_

Kurt ran over outfit ideas in his head after reading the list. He just barely got through two days outfits when they pulled into their drive way. Sitting in a comfortable silence with his dad until Dr. West's small hybrid pulled in behind them. The Hummel men get out in unison and wait for the doctor at the door.

"Kurt you have an hour to get your stuff together. I will be talking to your dad." Kurt took off up the stairs to hurry, only an hour? This woman must be insane. He dove straight into his closet, pulling out 5 pairs of skinny jeans in shades white, gray, black, a medium blue and a dark navy; 2 vest in gray and black; 2 plain white tees; 2 form fitting knee length sweaters and a Lady GaGa t-shirt. Then to his dresser he went grabbing boxer-briefs and socks throwing them on his bed with his other clothes. Rummaging through his dresser he stumbled across so clothes of Blaine's that he must have left after a sleepover. Kurt couldn't believe he only just now thought of him. Blaine, the love of Kurt's life, who didn't even have an inkling of how he felt. No, he couldn't think of him now. He needed to finish packing. He took the two t-shirts, sweats, and night pants and them with his clothes to take with him. After grabbing a few pairs of shoes, Kurt moved on to his bathroom to ready his toiletries. While packing his moisturizing routine he heard his door open and rustling before hearing it close again. On his way back to his bed Kurt grabbed his vintage Samsonite luggage and occupied himself with packing, it wasn't until he was done that he realized there was something on his desk that didn't belong. Resting on his desk was a Dalton hoodie with a post-it on top saying 'To remind you of me' in Blaine's neat script. Kurt quickly ran out of his room and down the stairs to the front door to see Blaine pulling away. He couldn't help but cry as he walked up the stairs pack his few optional items. A blanket his mom got him when he was a child and a few of his favourite books. Grabbing his suit case, Blaine's hoodie, and his satchel containing his books, Kurt was ready to leave. Dr. West was waiting for him at the door. Kurt hugged Burt before walking out the door to his dad's goodbyes. He placed his stuff in the doctor's trunk and sat in the passengers seats preparing himself for the hour long drive. Hopefully she wasn't a talkative driver.

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><p><strong>Reviews are like air and I need to breath! Please review! (:<strong>


	4. New Meetings

A/N: Hey guys! Sorry for the long wait. I promise updates will become more frequent now that I have my own laptop!

This chapter has a good amount of dialogue and I am not sure if I wrote it okay, so a review would be good on that! I could really use some critique. Also

***WARNING SLIGHT TRIGGER***

Also there are a few OC in this story and I apologise though they are quite necessary right now.

If you have any story ideas or song ideas for this story I would love it if you would review with them or PM me!

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><p>Kurt couldn't believe this woman. Not only did she have horrible taste in music, she was also desperately flat. The ride hadn't been so bad so far. She hasn't tried speaking about anything deeper then 'so how are you feeling' but, she had a tendency to sing under her breath. Luckily he was able to space out for most of the ride staring blankly at the scenery. When she let slip that the hospital was only 15 minutes away the brunette started counting down the minutes. As the minutes ticked by he could feel the anxiety rise. What would it be like? Would there be other people like him there? Would they judge him for what he has done? He was so distracted he hadn't realised they were there until the car came to a halt. There were large fences on the sides of the building wrapping around the back. The actual building wasn't all that intimidating, made of brick with crawling ivy up the left side. He took a deep breath and steeled himself.<p>

"Okay Kurt, time to go in. Please follow me closely. All the necessary paperwork and such was filled out at the hospital. I will be taking you directly to your room where you will be met with one of the teen group counsellors. " Dr. West got out of her car and popped her trunk waiting as Kurt got out and got his bags. Carefully shouldering his satchel and luggage, Kurt pulled Blaine's Dalton hoodie into his chest. Following Dr. West into the hospital his grip grew tighter on the hoodie. By the time he reached his room he had it in a death grip.

"This will be your room for the duration of your stay, please unpack and a counsellor will be with you in a few minutes." Dr. West waved a small good bye and left him alone. The room was of decent size, 2 beds and dressers, and a mirror beside the door. There was also a window in between the beds, which were on opposite sides of the room. The room was ice cold but he ignored it. Kurt started putting his things away in the empty dresser. Busying himself after that with emptying his satchels contents and moisturising routine then organising it all on the dresser. He wasn't all that pleased with the absence of a closet but he would live with it. Then all he was left with was his blanket, which he affectionately refers to as his blankie, and Blaine's hoodie. Carefully he pulled it to his face and inhaled deeply. It smelt purely of Blaine, a slight outdoorish smell of fall leaves and coffee. No doubt he would have started crying if he hadn't heard someone clearing their throat from the door way. Before turning around he quickly shed the thin hoodie of Finn's that he was wearing and pulled on the warm Dalton hoodie that immediately warmed him.

"Okay, I think I've given you enough time to settle in. My name is Jessica, you can call me Jess." Kurt turned and saw a young woman of average height with kind green eyes. Her dirty blonde hair pulled back away from her face in a pony tail.

"So what will I be doing in this lovely place" His words fell thickly with sarcasm.

"Well, in around 10 minutes our group counselling will start at which you will be joining us. There are seven other teens in our group. Five other boys and two girls. So if you will follow me it's time for you to meet everyone. Oh and if you see any little kids in the halls or at any of the meals do not speak to them." Jess was out the door and looking over her shoulder once to make sure Kurt was following her. On the opposite side of the hall is a bathroom rounding the corner there are four other rooms and bathrooms. At the end of the short hall Kurt can see 2 doors. The room on the right has the words "Acute Adolescents" written on it while the room on the left has nothing. Through the left door's window he could see paintings of butterflies around the room, through the right door's window he could see couches and a small tv mounted on the wall.

"You ready?" Jess seemed genuine as she opened the door.

"As I'll ever be." With a breath he entered the room. First he sees the two girls directly across the room from the door. One on the heavy side with auburn hair and auburn eyes, the other rail thin with badly bleached blond hair and watery blue eyes. Kurt moves to sit on the empty couch adjacent to theirs. From there he has a better vantage point of the rest of the room. There are four couches and one love seat, the small mounted tv above his head, a long table directly across from Kurt serving for a desk at which Jess and an older black man sat, and a cabinet in the top right corner of the room.

"Son, if you've had your fill of scanning the room, you need to introduce yourself to the group. My name is George, you will call me Mr. George. You need to tell us your first name and you can tell us something you enjoy doing. The rest of the group will tell you the same." Mr. George was a firm man with a no nonsense attitude.

"My name is Kurt, in my spare time I enjoy singing and playing piano." He nodded to the girls to say he was done.

"Hi I'm Morgan, I like to read and music is a passion of mine also." The auburn haired girl smiled at him warmly.

"I'm Nicole, I txt and gossip." The blond didn't even offer him a smile or any acknowledgement for that matter. Then it was on to the boys, who he hadn't paid any attention to yet.

"I'm Cody , I like to skateboard on the weekends." He smiled faintly at Kurt with an emerald coloured eye peaking out from behind the hair over his face.

"Hi there Kurt, my name is Jeff. I sing as well." Jeff gave Kurt a bright smile. He seemed oddly familiar with his light blond nicely styled hair.

"Yo my name is Cody B. I like to play football." Short, stocky, with spiked bleached blond hair. Kurt didn't think they would be speaking much.

"Hello, my name is Josh. I just like to hang out with my friends." He seemed the average joe with his brown hair and eyes.

"Last but not least I'm Jon, I enjoy school and learning." Kurt studied Jon for a moment. Shifty dark eyes behind wire framed glasses, he appeared smart yet cocky.

"I do believe that Jeff is your roommate Kurt. Now that introductions are over I am going to run through the rules real quick. You may not sit with the opposite gender on the couches, give everyone their personal space, no touching others in anyway, no cursing, no sharing personal information, no contacting people you met while you were here once you leave, and lastly no inappropriate contact with anyone. I think it is time to start our group session. How about we go in reverse so that Kurt can go last. First tell us why you are here and the reason behind that." Jess gave him a wink before pointing to Jon.

"I am here because my parents saw me as a danger to myself, the reason they thought that is because of the lye burns they found on my arms and legs." Jon stared at the floor, refusing to meet anyones eyes. Everyone looked to Josh who was waiting to go.

"My parents brought me here because I punched a hole through two walls while in a violent rage, the reason I did those things is because I was so angry about my little brother being bullied at school for being autistic." Josh gave everyone in the room a weak smile then looked down to his bruised knuckles.

"I checked myself in, I am a drug addict." Cody B.'s self pride shined through, proud to declare why he was there.

"I was admitted after my parents found me passed out from blood loss. I slit my wrist because my dad and mother flipped out when I came out to them." For some reason Jeff gave Kurt a small smile when he said "came out"

"The police told me it was here or juvie when I went berserk on a guy who hit my sister." Cody was cool and confident.

"My parents brought me here, they realised I was throwing up what I ate." Nicole picked at the hem of her shirt as she spoke.

"My doctor sent me here, I was raped and with my history they thought it best for me to be where I couldn't hurt myself." Morgan looked out the window as she spoke, whispering brokenly. Finally it was his turn to go. Wether he was ready or not.

"I was forced to come here, I tried to kill myself." Kurt refused to meet anyones eyes.

"Well, I think this is good for today. So for the next 15 minutes you can talk amongst yourselves until time for dinner." Jess smiled at them all before turning to talk to Mr. George.

Kurt watched as everyone got together and started to talk except for him and Jeff. He didn't mean to but he made eye contact with Jeff. With that he got up, walked across the room and sat beside Kurt. He didn't say anything for awhile, till he got a odd gleam in his eyes.

"Nice Dalton hoodie you have there, I've never seen you around." Jeff gave him a wink.

"You go to Dalton? This isn't mine." Kurt was curious. Could he know Blaine?

"Yes I go to Dalton, and for a fact I am a proud Dalton Warbler. Since you like singing as well I will say that I am a tenor." Jeff had a hint of who he was sitting beside but needed a little more information.

"I am part of New Directions, which would explain why you seem so familiar. I am a counter-tenor." Kurt smiled at Jeff warmly.

"Wait a second…Kurt, counter-tenor, wearing a Dalton hoodie, beautiful blue eyes….hmmmm….OMG you're Blaine's Kurt!" Jeff was ecstatic. So this was the boy that Blaine was head over heels for, the boy he played teenage dream on repeat because of.

"Um, yes I am a friend of Blaine's. " Kurt was happy to mention the boy of his dreams. Before they could speak anymore Mr. George announced it was time for dinner. Everyone shuffled into line, girls in the front then boys in the back. Kurt put as much distance between him and Jeff as possible. Down the hall and around the corner to the elevator. On the way they see a few small children lining the hall, separated evenly as if in time out. Kurt filled this away to ask around about later, he noticed that none of them looked very happy. The kids glared on as the teens walked by. Once they arrived, he was afraid they wouldn't all fit into the elevator. It turned out that it was much larger then anticipated with plenty of room for everyone to have breathing room. They go up 2 floors and down the hall to reveal a cafeteria. Tables lined the wall with longer tables in the middle facing the other tables. Behind him he heard a throat clear.

"Those tables in the middle belong to the counsellors, boys and girls aren't allowed to share tables at meals. Just thought I could help you out new kid." Cody had leant down and whispered in his ear. The closeness gave Kurt a start, causing him to jump. In doing so he knocked Cody's jaw shut, making them both yelp.

"Shit dude that hurt!" Cody hissed at Kurt, hoping the interaction would go unnoticed. Lucky for them they got a wayward glance from Jess instead of a scolding. As they made their made their way to the front of the line Kurt was horrified. None of the food would fit his diet. The fare was pot roast with potatoes and carrots, which definitely wasn't going to roll with him.

"Would there happen to be any salad that I could have instead of this lovely pot roast?" Kurt was hopeful. The cafeteria worker looked at him sceptically then called over Jess.

"Is it okay if I give him a salad instead of the normal meal?" Jess looked over Kurt for a second then nodded and left. The worker shrugged and handed him a clear boxed salad from the fridge behind the counter. Kurt called a thank you over his shoulder as he grabbed a bottle of water and headed to sit at the table that Josh and Jon inhabited. They ate mostly in silence. Scattered conversation were uttered between bites. Kurt was never more thankful for teenage boys and their food obsession.

The rest of the evening was a blur. Back to the group room, showers, moisturising routine, then laying down before Jeff got to the room to avoid conversation. As Kurt laid there only one person came to mind, Blaine. Would Blaine still think of him the same when he got back? He wouldn't be able to stand it if Blaine hated him. Then the itch started. It felt like there were fire ants crawling up and down his arms. Every second it got worse, he needed the release. He needed it now. A quick realisation, there was a safety pin attached to his satchel. A hurried hand fumbling to undo the pin and slip it into his pocket. He stepped into the hall, and pointed to restroom silently asking the attendant in the hallway. He didn't trust his voice to ask. With luck he was answered with a nod. 2 quick strides, door closed, sinking to the floor, left sleeve pulled up and release was in sight. Kurt dug the pin into his inner arm and pulled down hard. Then again, again, and again. There, finally, sweet release with the sight of blood. He couldn't stop now. With each rip to his skin he felt better and better. Each rip in his skin was one less worry, one less crack in his heart, one less disapproving look. Finally with a deep breath he stopped and looked down. Red bloody slashes stinging and burning. The need and fire ants finally gone from his skin. Kurt quickly washes off his arm and pulls down his sleeve. There was the comforting feeling of fabric on freshly broken skin. Another deep breath and he exited the restroom and crossed the hall to his room. Crawling into bed the brunette grabs Blaine's hoodie and his blankie, pulling them as close as possible, and cries himself to sleep.

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><p>Please review! (: I will be forever indebted to you!<p> 


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